Wednesday 30 December 2020
Tuesday 22 December 2020
Christmas Cracker Jokes for 2020
- What is Dominic Cummings’ favourite Christmas song?
Driving Home for Christmas - Why are Santa’s reindeer allowed to travel on Christmas Eve?
They have herd immunity - Why couldn’t Mary and Joseph join their work conference call?
Because there was no Zoom at the inn - Why can’t Boris Johnson make his Christmas cake until the last minute?
He doesn’t know how many tiers it should have - How is the pandemic like my stomach after Christmas?
It’ll take ages to flatten the curve - How can you get out of talking to your boss at this year’s staff Christmas party?
Just put him on mute - How is Christmas exactly like your job?
You do all the work and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit. - Why is Parliament like ancient Bethlehem?
It takes a miracle to find three wise men there. - Christmas dinner is a lot like Brexit. Half the family were told they needed to make room for Turkey, so opted to leave Brussels.
- Why doesn’t Jeremy Corbyn ever visit Santa?
Because he struggles in the poles. - Why was the snowman looking through the carrots?
He was picking his nose.
Wednesday 9 December 2020
Monday 7 December 2020
Wednesday 2 December 2020
Monday 30 November 2020
Sunday 29 November 2020
Saturday 28 November 2020
Friday 27 November 2020
Thursday 26 November 2020
Wednesday 25 November 2020
Tuesday 24 November 2020
Monday 23 November 2020
Sunday 22 November 2020
Leonardo Da Vinci
He has been called 'the most relentlessly curious man in history', and was the quintessential Renaissance man.
Learn all about the fantastic life of the genius after whom Leonardo English is named, from his talents as an artist to his skills as an engineer, and get inspired by his insatiable curiosity about how the world works.
Thursday 19 November 2020
Tuesday 17 November 2020
Wednesday 2 September 2020
Wednesday 19 February 2020
Please please me
Last night I said these words to my girl
I know you never even try, girl
Come on (come on), come on (come on)
Come on (come on), come on (come on)
Please, please me, oh yeah, like I please you
You don't need me to show the way, love
Why do I always have to say, love
Come on (come on), come on (come on)
Come on (come on), come on (come on)
Please, please me, oh yeah, like I please you
I don't want to sound complaining
But you know there's always rain in my heart (in my heart)
I do all the pleasing with you
It's so hard to reason with you
oh yeah, why do you make me blue?
Last night I said…
Tuesday 11 February 2020
Believer
First things first
I'm going to say all the words
Inside my head
I'm fired up and tired
Of the way that things have been
The way that things have been
Second things second
Don't you tell me what you think that I could be
I'm the one at the sail
I'm the master of my sea
The master of my sea
I was broken from a young age
Taken my sulking to the masses
Writing my poems for the few
That look to me, took to me
Shook to me, feeling me
Singing from heartache from the pain
Taking my message from the veins
Speaking my lesson from the brain
Seeing the beauty through the...
Pain!
You made me a, you made me a believer, believer
Pain!
You break me down and build me up
Believer, believer
Pain!
I let the bullets fly, oh let them rain
My life my love my drive it came from...
Pain!
You made me a, you made me a believer, believer
Third things third
Send a prayer to the ones up above
All the hate that you've heard
Has turned your spirit to a dove
Your spirit up above
I was choking in the crowd
Building my rain up in the cloud
Falling like ashes to the ground
Hoping my feelings, they would drown
But they never did, ever lived
Ebbing and flowing
Inhibited, limited
Till it broke open and rained down
And rained down, like...
Pain!
You made me a, you made me a believer, believer
Pain!
You break me down, you build me up
Believer, believer
Pain!
I let the bullets fly, oh let them rain
My life my love my drive it came from...
Pain!
You made me a, you made me a believer, believer
Last things last
By the grace of the fire and the flames
You're the face of the future
The blood in my veins
The blood in my veins
But they never did, ever lived
Ebbing and flowing
Inhibited, limited
Till it broke up and rained down
And rained down, like...
Pain!
You made me a, you made me a believer, believer
Pain!
You break me down, you build me up
Believer, believer
Pain!
I let the bullets fly, oh let them rain
My life my love my drive it came from...
Pain!
You made me a, you made me a believer, believer
Friday 7 February 2020
Space oddity
Ground control to major Tom
Ground control to major Tom
Take your protein pills
And put your helmet on
Ground control to major Tom
Commencing countdown
Engines on
Check ignition
And may God's love be with you
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five
Four, three, two, one, liftoff
This is Ground Control
To Major Tom
You've really made the grade
And the papers want to know
Whose shirts you wear
Now it's time to leave the capsule
If you dare
This is Major Tom to Ground Control
I'm stepping through the door
And I'm floating
In a most peculiar way
And the stars look very different today
For here
Am I sitting in a tin can
Far above the world
Planet Earth is blue
And there's nothing I can do
Though I'm past
One hundred thousand miles
I'm feeling very still
And I think my spaceship knows which way to go
Tell my wife I love her very much
She knows
Ground control to major Tom
Your circuit's dead
There's something wrong
Can you hear me, major Tom?
Can you hear me, major Tom?
Can you hear me, major Tom?
Can you....?
Here am I floating
Round my tin can
Far above the Moon
Planet Earth is blue
And there's nothing I can do
Saturday 1 February 2020
Thursday 30 January 2020
If I were a boy
-Intimacy
-Honesty
-Commitment
-You, me, us
If I were a boy even just for a day
I'd roll out of bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted
Then go drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls
I'd kick it with who I wanted
And I'd never get confronted for it
Because they'd stick up for me
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man
I'd listen to her because I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Because he's taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
If I were a boy
I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone it's broken
So they'd think that I was sleeping alone
I'd put myself first
And make the rules as I go
Because I know that she'd be faithful
Waiting for me to come home, to come home
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man
I'd listen to her because I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted -wanted-
Because he's taken you for granted -granted-
And everything you had got destroyed
It's a little too late for you to come back
Say it's just a mistake
Think I'd forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong
- You know when you act like that, I don't think you realize how it makes me look or feel
- Act like what? why are you so jealous? It's not like I'm sleeping with the guy
- What?
- What?
- I said: hey you why are you so jealous, it ain't like
I'm sleeping with the girl
But you're just a boy, you don't understand
-Yeah you don't understand-
How it feels to love a girl
Someday you wish you were a better man
You don't listen to her
You don't care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Because you've taken her for granted
And everything you have got destroyed
But you're just a boy
Hero
Let me be your hero
Would you dance if I asked you to dance?
Would you run and never look back?
Would you cry if you saw me crying?
And would you save my soul, tonight?
Would you tremble if touched your lips?
Would you laugh?
Oh please tell me this
Now would you die for the one you loved?
Hold me in your arms, tonight
I can be your hero, baby
I can kiss away the pain
I will stand by you forever
You can take my breath away
Would you swear that you'll always be mine?
Or would you lie?
Would you run and hide?
Am I in too deep?
Have I lost my mind?
I don't care...
You're here tonight
I can be your hero, baby
I can kiss away the pain
I will stand by you forever
You can take my breath away
Oh, I just want to hold you
I just want to hold you
Am I in too deep?
Have I lost my mind?
I don't care...
You're here tonight
I can be your hero, baby
I can kiss away the pain
I will stand by your forever
You can take my breath away
(bis)
I can be your hero
New York, New York
Start spreading the news
I am leaving today
I want to be a part of it
New York, New York
These vagabond shoes
Are longing to stray
Right through the very heart of it
New York, New York
I want to wake up in a city
That doesn't sleep
And find I'm king of the hill
Top of the heap
These little town blues
Are melting away
I'll make a brand new start of it
In old New York
If I can make it there
I'll make it anywhere
It's up to you
New York, New York
New York, New York
I want to wake up in a city
That never sleeps
And find I'm a number one
Top of the list
King of the hill
A number one
These little town blues
All melting away
I am going to make a brand new start of it
In old New York
And if I can make it there
I'm going to make it anywhere
It's up to you
New York, New York...
Monday 27 January 2020
Yesterday
Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away
Now it looks as though they're here to stay
Oh, I believe in yesterday
Suddenly
I'm not half the man I used to be
There's a shadow hanging over me
Oh, yesterday came suddenly
Why she had to go
I don't know she wouldn't say
I said something wrong
Now I long for yesterday
Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play
Now I need a place to hide away
Oh, I believe in yesterday
Why she had to go
I don't know she wouldn't say
I said something wrong
Now I long for yesterday
Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play
Now I need a place to hide away
Oh, I believe in yesterday.
Friday 24 January 2020
I want to break free
I want to break free
I want to break free
I want to break free from your lies
You're so self satisfied
I don't need you
I've got to break free
God knows
God knows
I want to break free
I've fallen in love
I've fallen in love for the first time
And this time
I know it's for real
I've fallen in love yeah
God knows
God knows
I've fallen in love
It's strange but it's true
I can't get over the way
you love me like you do
But I have to be sure
When I walk out that door
Oh how I want to be free baby
Oh how I want to be free
Oh how I want to break free
But life still goes on
I can't get used to living without
living without
Living without you by my side
I don't want to live alone hey
God knows
got to make it on my own
So baby can't you see
I've got to break free
I've got to break free
I want to break free yeah
I want
I want
I want to break free.
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